Speaking to Joy

Yesterday a mom of one of our program men showed up at the mission, having just flown in from Albuquerque, NM. She asked to speak with a chaplain and I was the only one available so I accommodated her. Her son is only about 21 and he has been in and out of rehab programs since he was about 17. She was scheduled to visit with him on Sunday here at the mission and so she asked me what should she say to him during their time together to help him or to encourage him to continue the recovery process.

I was at an advantage in this, because I am his assigned “counselor” and so I was very familiar with her son’s issues and progress in the program. To be brutally honest, he has not shown much passion and desire to change, and I have possibly in a premature way considered him another casualty of not recovering. Notwithstanding, I listened to a mother who about half way through the conversation began to break down and sob, lamenting all of the failed efforts they had made, as well as other drug programs he had dropped out of and then subsequently had gone back to the drugs.

Many times when people come to me for “counsel” I want almost to laugh (although that would not seem to be appropriate in this or other circumstances), because in many cases I don’t know what to say. What do you tell a 40-something year old mom who is crying over her lazy, self-consumed 21-year old drug addict, whom you believe is not going to make it, and to her this seems like their last hope? There is no amount of training or specified qualification that can prepare you for a moment in time like this one. I am sure, in some sense of the word at least, it is like Jesus’ preparing the disciples to face persecution as they taught and preached to the Jews. He told them, “When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

As you read this, I don’t want you to understand that I am saying each and every time I speak to someone in this ministry it is God speaking through me. I am emphatically not saying this, because a lot of - no probably most of the time - I reflect and think back and wonder how I could be so stupid or lame to have said what I said. There are times, in spite of this reality however, when it does seem that either God speaks through us or He, at very minimum, redeems what we say through the Spirit of Christ. This certainly does not abrogate our responsibility to think and to prepare (that is adamantly not the tone of this passage), but it does give each of us some encouragement to walk on even when we can’t many times see our way or have a clue what is going on. It is not like we can call a time out in the middle of these situations and phone a friend or look up what to say in a book.

I am not confident of many things these days, but I am growing more certain that in the days to come, our lives will be filled with much more complexity and uncertainty and questions. Although this is the case, I somehow have hope that the community of Christ will get through all of it, saying and doing the right thing, not because we are really smart or really good, but because the peace of Christ is ruling in our hearts and will come through in us and by us as we struggle along. And knowing this gives me great confidence and hope to pray for this young man’s mom, who ironically is called “Joy”. And, as she meets with him tomorrow afternoon, I hope she can find the words to say, or maybe she won’t need words at all. Maybe just her being there and affirming her love for him will be enough to help him complete the journey. I sure hope so, because I could not imagine what I would say to my son if the tables were turned.