Learning Anger Management

We watched a movie the other night called "The Upside of Anger." The movie's point was to pitch anger from the perspective of not having the right information about things in life. In other words, it was theorizing, anger comes about because we only possess partial knowledge of the full story. Although this was specifiying only a small part of anger, it was correct in assessing how we get angry over things a lot of times when we really don't have all of the appropriate facts. Yeah, we all know that the number of examples about people who do stupid stuff because of misguided anger are legion throughout the annals of history. The truth is I have done my own share of stupid stuff because of anger. King Solomon wrote "A quick-tempered man does foolish things..." Fortunately I have never gotten so angry that I have killed s0meone (like I would say it if I had), but there have been a number of dumb things that I have done or said.

Think with me for just a minute of all the meaningless, insignificant arguments that you have gotten into with someone that you are supposed to love very much. I can think of the many times I have wasted much of my life by venting painful comments towards my wife (she already knows by the way). And for what? So I could win an argument? So I could feel sinfully superior? It is all for nothing. I will admit that at times there are things that should upset us, but let's be honest. How many times do we really get mad over "the right thing?" And how many times have we done foolish things because of anger?

I remember when I was growing up, I used to wrestle with anger quite a bit (still do at times). When my parents or siblings or someone else would make me really mad and I didn't want to get over it, I would write down the offense and set it out on my dresser so I would rememer to be mad the next morning! Talk about a moment of foolishness! But, that is how much our life is wasted when we give in to anger. Just think of the bitterness, the ulcers, the wasted time, and the potential damage of an eternally valuable relationship.

Speaking of relationships, when I was about ten or twelve years old (not sure exactly when), my Mom and Dad and I stayed with my Mom's first cousin in South Georgia. We were two totally opposite families with a lot of different beliefs and philosophies and politics, but we were always able to put differences aside and enjoy each other's company. Nevertheless, things often change, as they did during this one trip when we were staying with them. I remember that my Mom's cousins' husband had been unusually fiesty the entire trip wanting to "discuss" things without getting upset, and so he and my Dad did. Until one night, something happened in the middle of what appeared to be a friendly disagreement, and the man stood to his feet and started yelling something to my Dad about "insulting him." I could barely believe what was happening: this guy looked like he was about to punch my Dad, or have a heart attack trying. To make a long story short, the situation finally calmed down and we were soon sleeping safe and sound that night with the bedroom doors locked, the dressers firmly planted against the door, and our hands on the phone to call the police. The unfortunate thing is that the relationship was never the same after that. That is the product of anger. Anger hurts and its pain is felt long after the argument has dissipated. Let us firmly plant in our minds the thinking that can aid us in our understanding of how to defeat anger: "The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil (Proverbs 15:28)." And "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city (Pv. 16:32)." And also check out Proverbs 15:1-4, as well as James chapters 1 and 3 and perhaps we can all learn more about how to manage our anger by managing our egos.